Why Are You Waiting to Book Your Boudoir Shoot?

Travel with me and C to one of my favorite Italian restaurants in San Jose—Fratello Ristorante for Happier Hour.  Dim, soothing light, low voices chatting at the tables, kitchen aromas that make your stomach growl no matter when you ate last.

We are greeted by our usual waitress, S.  She is absolutely beautiful.  Big, expressive eyes, perfect skin, trim waist, efficient movements between each table and the bar. We sit at the bar and chat with B while we try her new cocktails (by the way—YUM!!)  S joins us for a while between customers. C says S should visit me for a session.

S immediately starts talking about how she can’t “until I lose 11 pounds”.

We discuss the “until I/I can’t” dialogue we women put ourselves through…Until I lose 10 pounds I can’t go swimming with my kids (ooo, put that on my tab)…until I get my roots done I can’t go on a date with the hot guy I met yesterday….until he asks me to marry him,  I can’t feel like I am lovable (yup, I’ll own that one)…until I get divorced, I can’t move on with my life (uh…yeah, that one too)…until my kids are grown, I can’t reclaim the career I was so passionate about in my twenties (four out of four)…bullshit!

S says she can’t be happy until she loses the eleven pounds.  CAN’T. BE. HAPPY.  I can’t say I haven’t been there. I have; most of my life.  It (85%) changed when I was challenged a few years ago by a fabulous coach—why does happiness, of all things, be conditional on how we look, how other people see us? Why can’t we just choose to be happy.  Just reach out and grab it?  It’s not in a locked vault for cripes sake!

I put the question to S. She gives a lame answer. I ask again—another lame (and all too familiar) answer. We keep going until finally she says, with a *real* smile on her face, “I never thought about it that way.”  She glows, her eyes sparkle, she walks to a table with a different, more attractive and confident swing in her step.  Hmm, is my work here done? Or will she revert back to the “Until I…” self talk tomorrow?  We’ll see next time we visit.

What UNTILs are in your life?  What will it take to drop them?  Are you willing to let them go?